两次濒临死亡,决志信主重生

by 陆道政 (12/16/2013)

书香家庭背景 成长一帆风顺

我出身在一个书香之家,父亲由一个祖传中医,靠自己的奋斗,成了上海乃至全国有名的眼科医师。我们兄弟姐妹七人大多从医,只有我和二姊学了物理。我从小到大虽经过抗战、内战和国内无数次各式各样的”运动”,包括臭名昭著的”文化大革命”,终究还是顺利的成长过来,无论工作,结婚,生子都是。1979年我有幸全家移民来美国,开始了全新的自由自在的幸福生活。在这三十多年的时间里,学习、上班、培养儿子陆文峰(Simon Lu)成人。儿子在完成学业后结婚有了自己的小家庭,不久我们也就当上了祖父母。在确定晚年生活有保障后,2001年起我和我内人在佛州提前享受退休,可说是万事一帆风顺。

儿子奉主引导 老父信主曲折

我儿文峰现在美国加州工作。十多年前他就在主的引导下开始研读圣经、笃信上帝后受洗,成为忠实的基督徒。近几年来作为同工更为团契等教会事务忙碌。在以前无数次的父子见面和电话交谈中,他都不断地和我讲圣经的故事,送给我圣经有关的书和视频,提醒我丰衣足食的生活都是上帝施予的,期望我能早日信主。我看了一些书,又在他及其他基督徒朋友的影响下也开始相信上帝的存在,但始终没能全部接受基督教的根本,不认为自己有罪,不需要任何人为我赎罪,也没有感恩的心情。

空中突发急病 机场休克遇救

2013年9月初,我和往年一样在秋季只身去中国探亲。飞机在上海降落前半小时我发现自己大便出血,下机后又便血一次,再走几步就在机场入境处休克。醒来后机场的医生说我血压只有60/40,十分危险。机场医务室因没条件医治,立刻将我转送至市区某大医院急诊室,初步诊断是肠胃道出血,在那里输液和输血后暂时止了血。在急诊室过了一天半没再出血,我以为没事了,在没查出确切病因的情况下就离开医院,似乎生活一切就此又都恢复正常。可我万万没想到这只是一个个生死攸关”噩梦”的前奏!

瞬间经历死亡 灵魂离开肉身

回到上海住处过了平静的一天后,半夜又惊见便血,在淩晨三时由救护车送往医院。到达急诊室出现更严重的大出血,在上洗手间时突然休克倒在地上,心跳和血压都测不出。医生和护士急忙全力进行抢救,替我输液,输血,做体外心脏按摩。这时一个奇妙的事情发生:我从全无感觉晕到在地,变成有意识、有思想的灵魂,我感到我的灵魂离开了自己原来的肉身,我轻漂漂地走在一个白色光亮的大道,在两边白色墙上看到一些画的浅绿色美丽的树木和一些人名。我发问是否我已死去,我没看到人,但却能听到一个肯定的回答,这让我感到十分沮丧。我说我还没有和任何人交代,我怎么就死了呢?!我不放心我的亲人和家里的事情。我听到的回答是”你不要管这些事,以后你也管不了这些事。” 当时我还是心想着我应做而未做的事,但一切都来不及了。我更不知道以后要面对的是怎样的”生活”,感到十分遗憾,后悔,无奈和无能为力。这时奇迹又发生,我恢复知觉又回到人间,张开眼看见自己躺在地上,医生和护士围着我,问我的名字和一些简单问题。这是我人生第一次濒临死亡的过程,使我亲自领受到死后灵魂的存在,和灵魂会走向某种未知的永恒世界。

死神紧紧跟随 决志祷告安心

人是救话了,但没能检查出出血的原因。就这样,反反复复便血,我的脸色越来越苍白,身体越来越虚弱,血色素已经跌至4克左右,没多少时间就会有生命的危险。如果再用止血药来治疗,显然已经控制不住,而单靠输血也只能暂缓危机,解决不了根本问题,这可怎么办?医生们忧心忡忡,没有好的方法。虽然这时我儿文峰已专程从美国飞达上海来守护我,但我还是心慌意乱。我这时深深感到自己(人类)的渺小,多至几天少至几分钟,我都可由生变死,我的生死自己无法控制,一切是由命运,或说由一个主宰一切的神所操纵。文峰见我情绪有时烦躁,有时低落,就劝我决志信主,求主保佑,并说他在加州的罗兰岗基督徒礼拜堂也在为我祷告。其实在经过灵魂出壳的经历再回人间后,我痛定思痛,深感如有机会活下去,一定要做那些肉身死了以后不会后悔或遗憾的事。现在我已知道人死后有灵魂与”天国”的存在,这就有不同的”生活方式”了:是到天堂过幸福生活,还是受审后下地狱?在这情况下我做了人生的重大决择,我和文峰就一起做了决志祷告。在祷告时表白我一定信主,靠主耶稣替我赎罪,以后就能重生与主同在。决志祷告后,我就感到神在保佑我,也就安心,面对死亡也不害怕了。”耶和华是我的牧者,我必不致缺乏。”(诗篇二十三1)

频烦检查无效 医生临危上阵

医生们实在想不出有效方法确认出血点,只能多次反复地做肠镜,胃镜和血管造影检查。由于我血压过低,上麻醉有危险,我就在忍受剧痛无麻醉的情况下做这些检查。还好在第二次血管造影检查中终于找到了出血点,但这只是上一级血管的平面位置,无法由此确切决定是那一段肠子在出血。这时候唯一可行的就是剖腹探查,切除出血病灶。但血色素这么低的病人麻醉风险极大,这又是一个特別棘手的问题。幸好手术医生和麻醉师都能抱着救死扶伤的博爱精神,勇于接受风险和挑战,同意进行手术,我儿也簽字。在生死未卜的情况下,我於是经历了第二次的濒临死亡。”我虽然行过死荫的幽谷、也不怕遭害。因为你与我同在。你的杖、你的竿、都安慰我。” (诗篇二十三4)

棘手剖腹探查 手术顺利结束

很快,我被接进手术室,此刻,我已毫无血色,大汗淋漓,反应迟缓。测量生命体征,发现我的血压已经因为体内失血明显下跌,而心率却因为失血而迅速加快。麻醉师迅速打开静脉穿刺包,在我颈部消毒、铺巾、穿刺,在我的右颈内静脉置入深静脉导管,开放好生命通路,让红细胞和胶体液快速进入体内,支撑生命体征。接着就开始麻醉诱导,我随即就进入全麻状态了,手术医生立刻给我腹部消毒、铺巾,打开我的腹腔。然而,随着时间的流逝,虽然我的出血大致方位在血管造影检查时已明确,但确切的出血病灶却始终找不到。这让手术医生着急,也让麻醉医生担忧,前者急的是怎么还没找到出血病灶,如何尽快找到?后者忧的是找不到出血病灶就止不住出血,那如何支撑住我的生命体征?在这焦虑的时刻,剖腹探查继续进行,他们一边仔细检查每一个肠段,不放过每一处可疑的出血病灶,一边扩大探查范围,继续寻找可能有的合并症。这时候,手术室里的气氛是相当紧张的,因为找不到我的出血病灶就不能从根本上解除危险。麻醉医生开始不断加快输血输液来保证血液动力学平衡,给手术医生创造更多时间来探查出血病灶。经过反复探查,最终确认是右半结肠出血,诊断思路一明确,手术方案当即确定,切除出血肠段。果然,我的血压渐渐趋于稳定,手术顺利结束。经过在重危病房护理近二周后,我终于脱离险境,渐渐恢复体力。

后来和医生们谈起手术经过,他们都说是我命大,运气好,换个別人可能死好几次了。文峰告诉我这是由于我主的保佑,上帝在我第一次濒临死亡时已把我送回人间,这次衪还是创造奇迹,保守我平安渡过多重非凡的难关,希望我在人间服事神。真的,这第二次濒临死亡的经历,使我深深感受到万能的主的恩典和旨意。”我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱随着我。我且要住在耶和华的殿中、直到永远。”(诗篇二十三6)

反思人生意义 接受洗礼重生

我小时候就很听父母的话,做一个乖孩子,好学生。青年时努力学习和工作,争取”进步”,为了在”社会主义”,未来在”共产主义”社会中能做个有贡献的人。但经过”文化大革命”后我对中国大陆的现状和前景完全绝望,一心向往国外。后来终于有机会来到这个自由而充满生机的美国,可是我的人生目的就是集中在家庭,上班工作,和做股票赚钱。退休后虽然也做一些公益工作,如在中国内地贫困地区开办希望小学。但总的来说,我失去了生活的目的和动力,似乎过着一种无所事事的养老生活。经过这次生死过程,我信奉主耶稣基督了,决心让主来主宰我的余生,决不辜负主的恩典和愿望。为此,在回美后就和附近的华人教会联系,开始主日礼拜。教会陈家厚牧师和多位基督徒弟兄姊妹来看望我,陈牧师看到我生命转变,信仰确定,就多次为我上慕道的课程,我也终于受洗成为一个基督徒。在神的光辉照耀下,由于人生信仰和目标明确,今后我一定会积极事奉神,认耶稣基督为我的救世主和生命的主,怀着感恩的心,把人生和生命的主权都交给衪,多做敬神益世的事,享有永生的盼望!

12/16/2013

“因我活着就是基督、我死了就有益处。”(腓利比书 1:21) “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21) 

Link to 陆道政弟兄纪念專輯

Learning to Let Go and Let God 

By Christine Ho (2015.03.13) 

Up until last year, the mentality of “giving everything to God” was easy for me. Nothing much ever happened that didn’t go according to plan – I thought that everything that had happened in my life coincided with what I wanted and ultimately, with what God had planned for my life.

I switched my major to dietetics right before my senior year of college so I had to stay an extra semester to finish my degree. This meant that my future plans would all be postponed and with dietetics, the process would be even more stressful now that I had pushed back my graduation date. Upon graduating with a bachelor in dietetics, you are not guaranteed to become a registered dietitian. There is an extremely stressful process that you need to go through before you are able to sit for and take the registration exam and become licensed to practice as a dietitian. It requires that you go through an extensive application and matching process to an internship, which is essentially rotations of supervised practice similar to that of medical residency. The matching process is exactly the same as that of residency – after you send in your applications to your set number of schools/programs, you must rank the schools on a separate website. After ranking them, you will or will not be invited for interviews. The schools/programs must then also rank you so that you can be matched to their program. Currently, the national average match rate for dietetics is 50%, which means that half of those who graduate with a bachelor in dietetics will not be able to do their rotations and will ultimately not become registered dietitians.

From Disappointment to Great Joy

I had gone through my list multiple times, carefully ranking which programs I wanted to apply to. I applied all over the country, with the University of Houston being the closest program in distance to Florida. After I sent in my applications in September, I had to wait 2 months for match day to roll around. During these two months, I waited and waited, desperate to hear back for an interview invitation from the 4 programs I had applied to. I prayed earnestly for these interviews, but was disappointed to hear back from none. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t get matched at all because I switched my major specifically with this one goal in mind, to become a registered dietitian. A bachelor in dietetics is not of much use – you need to go through the internship to take the registration exam to become a registered dietitian. This, alone, caused much stress for me and although I depended on the Lord for comfort to get me through these times of distress, I grew even more doubtful of my own abilities and my future. When match day came around and I checked the computer only to find out that I didn’t get matched, I was crushed. I cried the entire day, and was extremely angry at myself and at God. I questioned God many times, asking Him why he didn’t provide what I wanted, what I thought was best for me. Why didn’t God give me this one thing? Didn’t he want me to become a registered dietitian? Why would He close this door, to disappoint me? It was extremely hard to go to class the next day and face my classmates. They would all know that I didn’t get matched. I felt like a huge failure. It was hard to be confident in anything after I had failed at achieving this one thing that I wanted so badly.

However, amidst all of my disappointment and sorrows during this time, God had his plans for me and was indeed looking out for me. After match day in November, there is a second round of matching that occurs. There usually aren’t too many programs participating in second round matching because most programs fill up after first round matching. This time around, there was only one program that was participating – Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. This was a new program and it was their first time participating in the dietetic internship matching. I was slightly discouraged because Alabama was not somewhere that I had seen myself living – I didn’t consider Alabama at all when I was looking at programs to begin with. And the fact that there was only one program to choose from was very disappointing because I didn’t have much of a choice if I wanted to participate in second round matching. I either had to apply now to Samford or wait a year to apply during the next cycle of matching. I begrudgingly started to prepare my materials and interview for Samford, knowing that this was my last opportunity to get matched. I felt as if I had no choice but to apply. There was really nothing that stood out to me about this school but as I began to gather more information for my interview and send my application in, I found out that this school is actually a Christian university. Their curriculum for the dietetic internship is founded on Christian principles and taught with a Christian mindset – it is rooted deeply in these values that I also share.

This was very comforting to me and I was extremely blessed by this, because the other programs that I had applied to during first round matching were not at Christian universities. This wasn’t even a priority for me when I was choosing programs, being that there aren’t many Christian universities with dietetic internships in the United States.

In God’s Perfect Timing

To make a long story short, I found out at the end of November that I did get matched to Samford University after second round matching. I was chosen to be a part of their intern class and for this, I can only thank the Lord. I have experienced His love and faithfulness like never before and realized how true His words are: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

It was truly a miracle and all in His perfect timing. I don’t know if I can put into words how miraculous it really was. First off, I wasn’t even planning on graduating in December. I was supposed to graduate in May of 2014. If I had graduated in May with the rest of my class, I would have applied to dietetic internships in the earlier matching cycle in February rather than in November. I would not have had the opportunity to even apply to Samford University because their program was brand new and they only participated in the November matching cycle. Secondly, because Samford’s program didn’t fill up completely after the first round of matching, they were able to accept more applications during the second round of matching. It is very rare that programs do not fill up because there are double the amount of applicants as there are spots in these dietetic internships all across the United States. Additionally, Alabama is only one state away from Florida – out of all the programs I had applied to, Samford was the closest to home. Yes, it would be a long drive but it’s close enough to home that driving would be an option. Lastly, it’s founded on Christian principles – the entire curriculum for my program was crafted with the idea of producing registered dietitians who are grounded in their faith and also in their knowledge of nutrition. Every year, the professors get together in the chapel and receive cards with the names of all of the incoming students. They then pray for their particular student on their card, praying that they would be blessed by the university and that the university would be able to provide guidance and fellowship during their time at Samford.

I had cried so many tears after that first round of matching, not knowing that God had this whole other plan in mind – a much better plan than I could have ever dreamed of for myself. Things didn’t go according to my plan. I thought Houston would be a much better fit for me and would have a better job market for my profession. I thought that I’d fit in more with the culture in Houston and would be much happier there. But what did I know?? How could I possibly know what was best for me at that time? “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.(Isaiah 55:8-9).

God Works All Things for Our Good

God never wants to see His children sad. His plans aren’t meant to hurt you. Now looking back on it, I should have never doubted the Lord – how can I possibly understand and know God’s great plan for my life when I have absolutely no clue what the future holds? God is the only one who knows what your future entails and he has created something amazing for each and every one of us. We just don’t know exactly what it is! And while you may think you have the perfect life planned out, you really don’t know a thing about your future. God wants the best for you and opens and closes doors for you, to align with his perfect plan for your life. Yes, they may not be doors that you want to close, but God has His purpose in doing so. I’ve learned to trust in the Lord with my WHOLE life. I’ve learned to never doubt God, to always lean on Him even when you have absolutely no clue what is happening in your life or why certain things happen to you, just as Proverbs says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Yes, I am nowhere near Houston, my dream location. Yes, I’m in Birmingham, Alabama, the last place I had ever thought I’d be living in. But I know that I am supposed to be here because this is where God has brought me. I depended on the Lord to bring me to where I am now, and I will continue to depend on Him and give him my whole life as I go through many long days of rotations in a completely new city. It has been a little over two months since I’ve moved here and He has blessed me with new friends and wonderful professors and program directors. I’ve also been able to connect with a friend of a friend, who just moved to Birmingham one week ago. She is also a believer and together, we have been attending church and are looking for a small group that we can plug into. I can’t wait to see what other blessings God has in store for me!

3/13/2015

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“你要专心仰赖耶和华、不可倚靠自己的聪明.在你一切所行的事上、都要认定他、他必指引你的路。”(箴言3:5-6)