Author: clearwaterccc
From Victim to Victor
By Kathy Xie (2015.03.10)
When I joined this church and got baptized 3 months after around Easter 4 years ago, I was in the darkest time of my life. Today, I am living a very happy life. The life I would never thought it was possible back then. But with God’s mercy and grace, he has made everything possible.
My life was almost crushed
My life was completely shattered 4 and half years ago. My ex-husband’s long time fair with another woman came to light and they had a child. The businesses we funded in China and in the States have nothing to do with me. It was the time when real estate market crashed in Florida. I was left alone with two very young kids, mortgages close to 1 Million under my name only, including the money borrowed from my parents, not knowing truth directly from my ex. I seriously thought of filing bankruptcy, short-sale of the condo we live, etc… It was an understatement to say that I was scared to death. His cruelty and the way he handled things were outrageous and caused me so much pain and anger. I just wanted him to die. I hit the rock bottom and couldn’t sleep at all.
An inch at the Cliff
We were fighting at the edge of a cliff. A heated instance taken to the court made me realize if we continue to fight, I would be destroyed and my two kids would likely become foster kids. During that dark period, I experienced every single negative feeling human being could possibly experience. One Sunday I walked into the church full of anger, the message from Rev. Brown was how Bible teaches us to control anger. I felt God was talking to me directly. I worried every single day because I never knew what would happen tomorrow or what would happen next hour. God keeps reminding me through his words. Matthew 7:25, 33-34: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear…But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things all be given to you as well. Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I learned to live an hour a time, one day a time. I went to church every Sunday to learn God’s words and hear messages from Reverend Daniel Chen. This is the church I felt connected thanks for the church leaders, brothers, and sisters.
Road to recovery
The road to recovery and bring back normal life was by no means easy. So many things happened and I went through so many emotions. A day feels like a week. For a good year or two, I could only sleep 2-3 hrs in average. When Patrick started kindergarten at 5, his school starts at 7:45 am and we need to leave house 7:30 am. Getting 5 and 3 year olds kids ready at 7:30 am with them fed by breakfast and lunch packed without a helping hand was a daunting task. Couple of times my eyes went black. At the end of each day, I was too exhausted to even talk. I know God will not give me more than I can bear. 1 Corinthians 10:13: “….And God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”
I was thirsty for inspiration. I benefited a lot from TV anchor Orpah’s life-class about gratitude, forgiveness, etc. and Christian books written by Joel Osteen. It reminded me the importance of having the right state of mind. I was inspired by the stories of those people who overcame the obstacles in life and rose above it. I was so determined not to become a victim, not let my kids become the victim. Letting go the things that I can’t control and letting go all the negative feelings is the hardest things I have to learn. But God gave me the wisdom to know that I must let it go. Otherwise, I would be in the mental prison and would not be happy. The Holy Spirit constantly reminded me when I was in the bad moment. The little voice inside me kept saying: “let it go, let it go, let it go!”
While I was going through a lot personally, lots have changed in my professional life. We were under a different team with new bosses. When everyone in the new team was working hard to prove themselves, I was behind. My work requires sharp brain and literally I lost my brainpower as I was too consumed in my own world. I was the only female in the team with over 20 people back then. I was on the verge of potentially being laid off.
I had lots to prove at work. A new coworker joined our team. He is intelligent, works very hard, and he gets along well with everyone. He has vision and gets tasks done so perfectly. He is the best well-rounded person I have known professionally. He raised the bar so high.
Overcame obstacles
Back in January last year, I had an opportunity to work on a prototype capacity solution. There was skepticism because we failed to develop such solution in the same system twice before, resistance of change and wait to see attitude. For the next few months, I worked hard to develop and enhance this solution and overcame many obstacles. I often asked myself: what would my co-worker do if he were the one developing this? I truly gave all I had, my brain and my heart. It is first time in my life I have found passion in my work. Today, the solution has been implemented in more than 10 sites and we have received many praises.
Last year, I also became the business owner to manage the system that the capacity solution was built on. The system is widely used by 2500 users and 91 sites in my company for 15 years. Today the system is facing the challenge of not being viewed strategic. I truly believe the power of this system and the value it brings to my company. I worked tirelessly to develop solutions to solve business challenges inside the system, I travelled to Penang, Malaysia to provide training to regional key people, I pulled the team together to promote knowledge sharing, etc. I did all of the work is not because I had to do, because I knew this is the right thing to do for the company. The hard work I did has helped to turn the situation around.
I am in victory
Looking back, I realize God put me in the position because he wants to do a favor for me. If it were easy, I wouldn’t have given all I have. I have reached to a place professionally I didn’t think it was possible. In the process, I have found passion, confidence, leadership and tenacity I didn’t have before.
I have also seen God’s work in my son, Patrick. Patrick had significant development delay. He didn’t start to talk until he was 4 years ago. The same homework that Emily can finish less than an hour today took him about 6-7 hours when he was in the same first grade. The love and care he received from his teachers and special teachers in the last few critical years is unbelievable. His Kindergarten teacher worked with him one on one every day for about 2 months to help him develop phonetic awareness which he should have but didn’t have back then. I am forever grateful for those teachers and I see God’s love within those teachers. It meant a world to me, especially during that turbulent time. When Patrick told me the end of last October that he got the “Principle’s Award” for the first quarter in the third grade, that was the proudest moment I had last year. It is a reflection of our hard work.
Honor and blessing
Patrick was sick for almost one entire year after he turned to 2, then struggled with significant development delay and no socialization with other kids when he was 3. As he gradually started to socialize with other kids in pre-k class, our family was hit by the storm and both him and Emily got impacted negatively and we had lots of struggle. Along the way, God’s mercy and love has never left him. God has helped put him in the school that God is honored. Patrick has blossomed into such a great boy with a kind heart. I see how he went above and beyond to help his sister when she was sick when no one told him. He was my rock during the difficult time. Patrick has taught me so much. He is truly the God’s blessing to me.
What an incredible journey I had the last few years. I have closed the most important chapter of my life. Here I am grateful for who God is in my life and for what He’s done. I will not take for granted the people, the opportunities, and the favor He has blessed me with. I thank Him for what I have and not complain about what I don’t have. My heart overflows with praise and gratitude for all of His goodness. To God be the glory! Amen!
03/01/2015
“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.” (2 Corinthians 2:14)
“感谢 神、常帅领我们在基督里夸胜、并藉着我们在各处显扬那因认识基督而有的香气。(哥林多后书 2:14)
神恩典够用
By 陈逸民 (2014.11.23)
感谢神!今年(2014)即将结束了,很高兴能够站在这里与弟兄姊妹分享我的见证。我想分几方面来见证神所赐下的恩典。
工作上神指引
工作上时常有很多的项目或系统上临时出了问题,经常都不是一两个小时就能想出办法解决,有时长达两三个月或是更长时间才能找出问题的所在点,然后才开始寻找解决方案。任何时间和地点,我的脑袋都在不停的转,这样的压力随着时变得越来越大,也不见得能想出好的方法。”你要专心仰赖耶和华、不可倚靠自己的聪明.在你一 切所行的事上、都要认定他、他必指引你的路。”(箴言三章5-6);”要寻求耶和华与他的能力,时常寻求他的面。”(历代志上十六章11)因此我常常祷告求神说我做不来,我需要祢,祈求赐给我解决的方案,帮助公司。
感谢主!我常常在睡觉中,便得到很好的方法,甚至好像已经实验过了一样,使我很有把握去执行并且又快又顺利。有时同事惊讶觉得解决方法怎么如此简单却要等上好几个月才解决。我很清楚这并不是我很有能力或聪明,若不是神怜悯施恩予我,我就要陷入这压力的折磨。
另外,我服务上班12年的公司在去年六月份被其他公司收购,所有的同事几乎多已离开,当时我也準备重新寻找新的工作。后来在几次约谈后,新老板竟然提出要我留任18个月,让我很惊讶。哈利路亚!感谢主!神的智慧高过人的智慧,人怎能猜透? 惟一方法就是仰赖神。阿们!将荣耀归于至高神。
儿子生来是瞎眼 –双眼全盲
四年前小儿子Joshua出生,但在六个月大时,发现双眼有白内障。经过眼科医生诊断双眼的眼球构造发育都不齐全,若左眼动手术换上人工水晶体或许有机会但不确定他能看见。
原本说年龄太小不适合动手术,当我们全家已作好心理準备接受Joshua 是双眼全盲的孩子时,医生又通知我们说6个月大的孩子刚好可以动手术,因为婴儿体力恢复得比较快。记得凌晨送进手术室时,我只有在心里呼求主耶稣,将一切交托给祂。感谢神!手术后光能通到左眼使他能有一点膜糊的视力,现在还能认出一些颜色,连医生也都惊讶。
约翰福音第九章1到3节中提到生来是瞎眼人的故事,耶稣回答说:也不是这人犯了罪、也不是他父母犯了罪,是要在他身上显出神的作为来。(哥林多后书十二章9)”他对我说、我的恩典够你用的。因为我的能力,是在人的软弱上显得完全。所以我更喜欢夸自己的软弱,好叫基督的能力覆庇我。”感谢 神!如今Joshua满4岁了,是家中的开心果,每天带给我们欢笑和看见盼望,使我们深深相信神有美好的计划要在他身上成就并彰显神的大能及荣耀。
家庭祭坛–敬拜赞美神
我在三月份时因右眼急性青光眼急性发作,使我头痛,眼球刮伤,接着是细菌感染,身体状况越来越糟并引起一连串并发症,一连串的受伤至今已经超过半年的时间。感谢主!藉这些事让我再次思想我的人生价值,现在我因着忙碌的工作却忽略了神所赐给我的产业,没有将他们带到主面前,做了最坏的榜样。我祷告祈求主耶稣,求主赦免我的罪并求主宝血洗净我。我将人生的各种需要交托仰望祢,感谢祢来破碎我,使我的软弱因依靠祢变刚强,让我有一个彻底的改变。
感谢神!赐我话语的亮光:”你趁着年幼,衰败的日子尚未来到,就是你所说,我毫无喜乐的那些年日未曾临近之先,当记念造你的主。”(传道书第十二章1);”当用各样的智慧,把基督的道理,丰丰富富的存在心里,〔或作当把基督的道理丰丰富富的存在心里以各样的智慧〕用诗章、颂词、灵歌,彼此教导,互相劝戒 心被恩感歌颂神。(歌罗西书第三章16);”当用诗章、颂词、灵歌彼此对说,口唱心和的赞美主。”(以弗所书第五章19);”凡有气息的,都要赞美耶和华。你们要赞美耶和华。”(诗篇一百五十篇6)
经过这次的生病,神让我再一次看见祂掌管一切。要改变从家里开始,我必须把握时间把两个孩子带到主耶稣面前,学习祷告敬拜神,预备好成为神可使用的器皿。我开始建立家庭祭坛,感谢主!神预备的时间刚刚好Joshua 4岁了,他已经可以唱几十首中英文的敬拜诗歌。 现在每天晚上我们全家晚上8点就开始敬拜,由Joshua 领唱,Daniel 领祷告,我放了两张椅子,时间一到,他们自动站上去。每次看着他们唱歌敬拜神,我们都满心欢喜地感谢赞美,因为就像小孩子般单纯的来到天上的阿爸父面前,用心灵和诚实来敬拜祂,为要得祂的喜悅。我们全家每天充满享受神的恩典。
彼此相爱
“我赐给你们一条新命令,乃是叫你们彼此相爱。我怎样爱你们,你们也要怎样相 爱。你们若有彼此相爱的心,众人因此就认出你们是我的门徒了。”(约翰福音十三章34-35)在生病期间,藉着主里弟兄姊妹的关怀及帮助,神的爱及恩典都充满在我们每天的生活中,藉着弟兄姊妹彼此的相爱彰显神的爱。虽然有时候老我的毛病又犯了或是又有软弱的时候,感谢主!藉着「活泼的生命」(QT)以及自己的灵修,还有透过弟兄姊妹每天都有话语的亮光与分享,适时的提醒或安慰了我。”我们晓得万事都互相效力,叫爱神的人得益处,就是按他旨意被召的人。”(罗马书第八章28)感谢神!藉着主耶稣基督为我们钉死在十字架上,救赎并赦免我们的罪,赐下生命活水,让我们得以进入 神的国度。哈利路亚!国度、权柄、荣耀,全归于神!直到永永远远。
不住祷告
“要常常喜乐,不住的祷告,凡事谢恩.因为这是 神在基督耶稣里向你们所定的旨意。”(帖撒罗尼迦前书五章16-18)以祷告来经历 神的爱及恩典,祷告是神赐给我们的特权,让我们可以有能力与至高神有亲密话语的交通。十月份时Joshua因为4岁上Pre-K School感到上学不一样了,需要做更多事情,更独立。他开始有抱怨说上课时间太长,心里产生了压力;紧接着他开始找各种理由不去上课,每天早上都是一场争战,看他哭我也跟著哭。我清楚明白作父母的实在无法帮孩子卸掉心中的压力,唯一的方法是引导他到主耶稣面前,向主祈求并学会倚靠 神,让他明白还有一位爱他的天父时时刻刻都在看顾。就这样,每天我们都是一起祷告并且哭着进学校教室。
有一天我仍照常去接他放学回家,一下了School Bus,Joshua对我说了短短的几句话,让我感动又惭愧,”爸爸,我今天上学没有哭,因为有主在我里面,我已经得胜有余了”哈利路亚!感谢主耶稣基督,我们已经得胜并且有余了,阿们!最后希望我的见证能鼓舞帮助弟兄姊妹,愿神祝福弟兄姊妹们,每天祷告,每天得胜,每天祷告,每天喜乐。阿们!
11/23/2014
“我不以福音为耻.这福音本是 神的大能丶要救一切相信的丶先是犹太人丶後是希利尼人。因为 神的义丶正在这福音上显明出来.这义是本於信丶以致於信.如经上所记丶『义人必因信得生。』” (罗马人书 1:16-17)
“I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: “The righteous will live by faith.”( Romans 1:16-17)
生命的急转弯
By 邱吉武 2014.11.23
我的名字叫邱吉武,2014年5月14日我接受主耶稣基督作我的个人救主,受洗成为一名基督徒。感谢主!过去我生活在黑暗中,我哥哥、妹妹都说:”你没救了!”因为我原是一个上瘾的赌徒,可说是”视赌如命”。今天我信了主,我的生命有了180度的转变。今年是我生命的”急转弯”的一年,英文叫”U-turn”。过去因为赌博,人生走到尽头。现在我信了主耶稣,我的人生有了新起头。
人生的U-turn
过去的几年里,我每个星期去赌馆三次。晚上下班之后10时左右开始赌,到第二天清早3-4点鈡,甚至到早晨上班时间10点前才回来。每一次赌注有几百美元,有时甚至疯狂到上千美元。在赌博中,我认识十来位中国朋友,并成为赌友。我在里面有特殊的身份,吃不用钱,还得到赠送礼物。前往赌馆的路,我闭着眼也能说得一清二楚。赌的时候昏天昏地,很快乐(不能自拔)。古人说:”近朱者赤,近墨者黑。”我过去是黑的,我豪赌,面黄肌瘦,十赌九输,欠债累累。我活在黑暗痛苦的世界里。今天我人生急转弯,我能深切体会到耶稣說:”耶稣是世界的光,跟从我的就不在黑暗里走,必要得着生命的光。”(约翰福音第八章12节)
走得胜的路
今天我跟从耶稣,我很喜欢。牧师教我背诵的其中一节是,耶稣说:”我就是道路、真理、生命,若不藉着我,没有人能到父那里去。”(约翰福音第十四章6节)感谢主,我今天不再走赌馆的路,而是走教堂的路;不再走黑暗的路,而是走光明的路;不再走输的路,而是走赢的路。是主耶稣教我走的得胜之路! 感谢主!不再走通往东边(地狱)之路,改走通往西边(天堂)之路 !我现在很熟悉教堂的路,是耶稣的爱改变了我。圣经说:”神爱世人,甚至将他的独生子赐给他们,叫一切信他的人不至灭亡,反得永生。”(约翰福音第八章16节)
赢的人生
我信主半年了,不再面黄肌瘦,而是红光满面,神采奕奕,心中充满喜乐。我不再去赌博了,每一个主日我去教堂,敬拜神 ! 我的生命不一样了,春风满面,喜乐平安,身体健康了。自从我信主之后,固定参加教會的小组聚会和主日学。我在小组中学习神的话语,分享心得,学习开口祷告。現在還在小组中學習带领祷告;我发现我的生命在成长。主日学上课中,我学到了圣经中的很多真理,明白了上帝在我身上的美意。我爱慕上帝的话,我常常读圣经和「活泼的生命」。虽然还有很多我不明白的,但我愿意活在耶稣的光中,因為耶稣是道路、是真理、是生命。今天我很快乐,我真心爱主,愿意为主做事奉,愿意为教会活动煮饭菜,我也愿意在金钱上作奉献,我很喜欢为主作见证。
我愿意与大家分享我成长的喜乐。感谢主!我的生命今天能有”急转弯”,能有盼望。现在,我常常有钱寄回中国,有能力还债务。我相信很快不再欠债,而且丰富有余。我也愿意为家人信主祷告,为我妈妈、我太太、我亲友得救祷告。我相信有一天他们和我一样生命會發生急转弯。相信耶稣真好!耶稣是赢的人生,是生命之光。阿门!
11/23/2014
“若有人在基督里、他就是新造的人.旧事已过、都变成新的了”(哥林多后书5:17)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”( 2 Corinthians 5:17 )
生命的改变
By 宋文媖 2017.11.19
自2001年开始接触福音,被 神的爱感动,於2001年3月18日决志,两个月后于同年五月二十日受洗归入主基督耶稣的名下。回首过去跟随主的脚步,路径滴满脂油,恩典数算不尽。我所有的一切全都是 神的恩赐,我无法增减祂一丝一毫的荣耀。我只能向世人传说神的救恩和美德,尊荣祂的名。
神的话语改变了我的生命
今日我要向各位见证的是,圣经- 神的话语,改变我生命的事实。 神的话,句句都带着能力,使信的人得着生命和力量,能去遵行天父上帝的旨意,以致能亲身经历祂所应许要赐给我们的丰盛生命,成为一个有福的人。神话语的总纲,就是信实。祂是全能的上帝,没有谎言,而是诚信,公义,守约,施慈爱,不偏待人的 神。过去当我倚靠自己,人生似乎走到了尽头。「福音」- 神的话语如同光一般临至我的时候,那已被黑暗所笼罩的心,霎时感觉有救了!
读到旧约时代, 神兴起摩西作属神子民希伯来人的领袖,向自己的百姓吩咐祂所颁布的律法时,说:・我今日所警教你们的,你们都要放在心上,要吩咐你们的子孙谨守遵行这律法上的话。因为这不是虚空与你们无关的事,乃是你们的生命。我今日呼天唤地向你作见证,我将生死,祸福,陈明在你面前,所以你要拣选生命。・(申命记三十二章46-47; 三十章19)此类震耳聩聋的警戒和教训,充满了整本圣经,包括旧约和新约,震撼著我的心。不同之处,是今日乃恩典的时代,靠著复活得胜的基督,圣灵所赐给我们的大能大力,信靠耶稣的人,只要我们愿意,就没有不能遵行的。圣经说,一生的果效,由心发出。中国成语说,「人者,心之器也。」我以前之所以陷入绝境,无以为继,是因自己有心病。神的话语像「救心」,使我绝处逢生,仿佛为我换了一颗新的心,灵再次活泼起来,令我对未来充满了盼望。
信耶稣个性改变了
在我信耶稣为救主,并事奉祂尊祂为生命的主以前,因自己个性的问题,生活的重担,工作的压力,人际关系的紧张,可以说是身心俱疲。当时的我全身疼痛,浮肿,满脸疙瘩;内心充满苦毒,不安,无助,经常抱怨,不耐烦,发脾气。努力工作帮助丈夫实现他的理想,凡事倚靠自己,努力经营著生活,企图为自己寻求幸福美满的人生。虽得着不曾追求的丰盛物质生活,但那自小所向往的幸福婚姻生活,却是那么遥不可及,并且每下愈况。绝望之下,生命失去了追求的目标,活着没有盼望,没有喜乐。真是虚空的虚空,一切都是虚空!
如今想来,没有耶稣基督为中心的生命,一生所追求的,至终都将成为劳苦愁烦。可谓「昨日的盼望,是今日的喜乐,终将成为明日的愁苦。」信主后,开始明白,惟有认识基督,追求基督,得着基督,享受基督,活出基督,传扬基督,是人生美善之道,亦是我惟一的喜乐和满足。
不认识神以前,自认为没有作奸犯科,还算是个不错的人。读了圣经后,在神圣洁话语的光照之下,才看见以神的真理为标準,自己是满身罪污,原该接受神公义的审判,被丟到地狱火湖的货色。然而 神的爱和恩典如此浩大,竟差遣祂的独生爱子耶稣为我舍命,接受我本当受的刑罚。只要我相信神的话,信靠耶稣基督代赎的事实,我一切的罪就被赦免,得着作神儿女的权柄,并得着从神生的新生命。
这样伟大的爱深深震撼我的心。这激励我想要更多认识这位独一的真神,好藉祂为自己的生命寻找出路。越多阅读查考圣经,越发认识自己的无知,有限,不能和软弱,更深体验神的伟大,慈爱,全知,全能,全在,公义,圣洁,美善和荣耀。这使我完全降服在耶稣基督的脚前。十字架上的耶稣彰显了神怜悯的爱,和祂对罪严厉的审判。我深深的明白一个真理,即是除了耶稣的名,天下人间別无拯救!我当如何回报祂呢?
神的话带给我内心喜乐和满足
过往的岁月证实我是一个缺少智慧的人。圣经说:”敬畏耶和华,是智慧的开端;认识至圣者,便是聪明。”(箴言九章10)又说:”寻求耶和华的,甚么好处都不缺。祂未曾留下一样好处,不给那些行动正直的人。”(诗篇三十四篇10; 八十四篇11)。”神的话是我们脚前的灯,路上的光。”(诗篇一百一十九篇105) 基於过往人生失败的经验,我知道皆因没有 神的话来指引。从此圣经成为我生命的手册,生活的依归。当时初信主的我,处於退休状态,时间很多。我非常认真渴慕的,每天抱着圣经,如寻宝般,欢喜快乐的流连在神的话语里,自得其乐。神的话真是比金子更宝贵,比奶油香,比蜜还甘甜。所带给我内心的喜乐和满足,实非笔墨所能形容。
圣灵藉着圣经的话医治释放我
过去我死在罪孽过犯中,伤害他人,也被別人伤害。不饶恕,怀怨,志不得伸,真可谓「心有千千结」。当我亲近 神,祷告寻求主的带领帮助,圣灵每每藉着圣经里的话,安慰我,医治我,释放我,鼓励我,扶持我,使我心里的结,如同涂抹了润丝精般,那些解不开的结,都被一一化解开来。那原本因忧伤破碎的心,和枯干的骨头,逐渐得着滋润恢复,整个灵魂甦醒过来,身上各样的病痛也不药而癒。就像耶利米先知所言:”耶和华万军之 神阿,我得着祢的言语,就当食物吃了。祢的言语,是我心中的欢喜快乐。因我是称为祢名下的子民。”(耶利米书十五章16) 哈利路亚!
现在我渐了解,过去不认识神,远离祂,靠自己,追求的是属世的价值观,一切都如镜花水月,徒劳成空。如今悔改得救后,所追求的是,凡事寻求神的旨意并遵行,为讨祂喜悅而活,奔走成圣属天永生的道路。一路有主相伴引导其乐融融。
神那赐生命的话语,对相信的人,有诸般益处。教导我们如何能承受 神在耶稣基督里的丰盛,作一个有福的人,享受喜乐充满的人生。耶稣为我们成就的救恩太伟大了。我能作的就是爱祂。祂说祂就是真理,所以爱耶稣就要爱真理。每天我将神的话存记在心里,认真学习,以免得罪祂。以下就是我的一些经历。
明光照耀不再抱怨
以前当別人作事不负责任,或对自己所付出的以为理所当然,不表感激,我会习惯性的抱怨。听到圣经说:”凡所行的,都不要发怨言,起争论,使你们无可指摘,诚实无伪,在这弯曲悖谬的世代作上帝无瑕疵的儿女。你们显在这世代中,好像明光照耀,将生命的道表明出来。”(腓立比二章14-16a)类似的情况再发生时,主的话就会提醒我不要抱怨。因主耶稣教导我们,若不赦免別人的罪, 神也不赦免我们的罪。当”常常喜乐,不住的祷告,凡事谢恩。”(帖撒罗尼迦前书五章16-18)日子过的轻松快乐,不会再让別人轻易影响我在基督里的平安。
化干戈为玉帛
自小自尊心很强的我,虽自知不完全,但每当被责备批评时,内心会不悅,很不以为然,甚至会受伤害,并为自己找很多藉口。现在虽不完全能作到欢喜快乐的接受,但起码会有以不同的心态看待。因我听到主耶稣说:・凡事受了责备,就被光显明出来,因为一切能显明的就是光。所以主说,你这睡着的人,当醒过来,从死里复活,基督就要光照你了。・(以弗所书五章13-14) 主的话一临到,如沐春风,立刻化干戈为玉帛,因明白主要藉此提昇我,拓宽我的境界,使我得益处,叫我成长完全。面对责难,不再像以前软弱受伤。反能感谢赞美 神,有则改之,无则嘉勉。
婚姻生活渐入佳境
以前以自我为中心,小鸡肚肠的,不太能容忍別人和我的不同。加上误以为自己有责任纠正改造我的丈夫,使他能符合我理想的配偶。多年夫妻同创事业共事,并生活在一起,发现彼此之间的差异如鸿沟般,无法跨越,常有争执。日子久了,习惯性的我整天眼睛所盯着的,都是他那些叫我看不顺眼的小地方,经常唠叨。未料,不但改造彻底失败,关系越趋恶劣。以致经常自叹遇人不淑。
如今主教导我明白,丈夫是妻子的头,要敬重他,作他的帮助,以温柔长久安静为装饰,是 神所喜悅的。当我学习顺服主的话,家中争执逐渐减少,关系日趋和睦。因自己不再如过往坚持己见,批评责备,先生不再被我攻击,放下戒备的心,也变体贴温柔了。神开了我的眼,叫我以不同的眼光,看见并欣赏先生有许多长处优点,都是我所缺乏并且没有的。为此时常存感恩的心,感谢赞美 神,赐我一位非常优秀的配偶。也学习向先生说感谢赞美的话,不再尖著嗓门对他叫,给他脸色看。
我终于明白管教丈夫不是我的责任,我的责任是按他需要的帮助他满足他。现在若先生交待任何事,当天我必将其列为行事历上必完成之事。不是因为害怕,而是明白了尊重 神在家所设立的权柄,就是敬畏神,爱神了。这些改变,使我与主耶稣维持美好相交的关系,祷告没有拦阻,天天经历神所赐的恩惠和平安。
服事神为乐
自小个性内向不善言词,常被哥哥姊姊笑我说话是”大舌头。害羞不善交友,不喜欢打搅別人,很注重自己的隐私,对別人的事常表现的漠不关心。但主说,要过教会肢体的生活,因为和其他信徒同在一个身体里,互为肢体。我若不爱看得见的弟兄姊妹,就不能爱看不见的神。
明白并顺服 神的心意后,人像换了一颗心似的,信主的日子越久,爱教会弟兄姊妹的心就越热。主常感动我为有需要的人祷告,并催促我去探访关怀在难处中的肢体,恩待我参与祷告会,主日学教导的服事,带领小组查经。如今更蒙 神的恩典,开放家庭供小组聚会,和大家一起读经分享交通,彼此生命链接。能在教会和弟兄姊妹们一起敬拜,同工,事奉 神,传扬耶稣的福音,并看见人心悔改归向神,生命改变,病得医治,缺乏的得满足,经历见证神的荣耀,这就是丰盛的生命。
职场上怜悯迷失
先生所经营的餐馆,用的多是二十岁上下的美国年轻人。无论文化,教育,成长环境和年龄与我的差距都极大,属于不同世代的人。初次重返职场,与他们共事时,他们的骄傲自大无礼,不尊重权柄,讲脏话,撒谎,不受管教,不负责任的态度,叫我惊惶的不知所措,感觉自己像羊入狼群。
但因自己是基督徒,不能效法世人那不认识神的样子来回应他们。常常被刺激的又气又恨。在这样的环境之下,主叫我学习许多新的功课。渐渐主叫我看到这些员工,绝大部分都是出自破碎的家庭,在没有爱和教管的环境里长大。他们大多自称出生于所谓的天主教或基督教的家庭,但他们却不认识神;主喜爱和怜悯这些走迷失道路的孩子,感动我以不同的眼光和心态来对待他们。
我遂学习以不同的方式和他们交通共事。期许自己在与他们生命的交叉点上,不仅靠主耐心教他们将工作做好,更盼望能带给他们人生一些正面积极的东西。相处久了,员工逐渐感受我的善意,敌意消除,开始受教,态度改变,成长,我也很安慰受激励。很多的客人也来自相同的背景,有机会就鼓励他们要信靠耶稣,和他们分享见证。
爱人体恤软弱
主将我摆在这个位置,要将”爱众人的心”(彼得後书一章7)加给我,使我深刻的感受到 神那怜悯人,愿意人人悔改,不愿见一人沈沦的心肠。至於我更深刻体认到,离开主,我就不能作甚么!惟有倚靠耶稣我才可能过荣耀祂,得胜的生活。
以前我不明白为何自己生命要经历这么多的艰辛痛苦。但当我知道耶稣基督是受苦的主,祂虽无罪,却受尽人世间的苦难,并被钉死在十字架上。正因为无辜的耶稣曾嚐尽人世间的苦楚,所以只有祂能体恤我们的软弱,并安慰拯救那些在患难中的人。 神允许我生命多受苦处,好叫我多经历祂的慈悲和安慰。等待祂带领我走过水火,进入平安丰盛之地后,能使用我去安慰那同受患难在苦楚中的人,并带领他们倚靠耶稣,同得着安慰和拯救。在受苦时仍能等候而不失去盼望。因知道信靠耶稣基督的人必不致羞愧!
感谢赞美神,在我身上施行拯救恢复的工作,耶稣基督在我心里成了有荣耀的盼望。能有耶稣作我生命的主,称真 神上帝为阿爸父,并有圣灵保惠师的同在,作我随时的帮助,是我一生最大的祝福。在主的保守看顾恩典里,我学会藉祷告,将一切的忧虑重担卸给神,凡事谢恩。日子过的简单,自在,轻松,人也有了自信。我知道我是天父上帝的孩子,也知道以后要往祂那里去。我天天将自己的生命献给主耶稣,一生以事奉祂,尊荣祂,传扬祂为职志。愿感恩,颂讚,荣耀都归给三一真神!
11/19/2014
“但圣灵降临在你们身上、你们就必得着能力.并要在耶路撒冷、犹太全地、和撒玛利亚、直到地极、作我的见证。”( 使徒行传1:8)
“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”( Acts 1:8)
衪使我灵魂甦醒
By 陈丽珠 (2014.10.12)
“衪使我灵魂甦醒,为自己的名引导我走义路。我虽然行过死荫的幽谷,也不怕遭害;因为你与我同在,你的杖,你的竿,都安慰我。”诗篇23: 3-4
我姓陈名丽珠。家人本是拜佛的,现在全都是基督徒,我是在 2004年决定接受救恩和洗礼,成为 神的儿女。在这十年基督徒历程里,我亲眼见证主耶稣很多伟大神蹟,衪每天陪伴着我,给我新的力量和智慧去面对困难,祂从来没有离开过我。我体验到神紧握我的手,带领我、改变我、洁净我、安慰我。每一步踏出去的路,虽然满佈石头、崎岖难行,但都是祂带领我越过艰难,进入平坦之地,我真是感谢神的恩典。
忧虑幽谷
过去的十年内,我的生活是十分困难和充满忧虑,没有任何欢乐开心可以分享。多年来不分日夜,不眠不休地工作。我好像一部机器,在我内心感觉自己像一个僵尸。虽然我和丈夫、女儿同住一屋,却感觉自己像困在镜室里面,我看得到他们,但触摸不到他们。我仿佛在另外一个空间,在一个不属于自己的世界里,像一个幽魂,当別人误会我的时候,我都不想去跟他们说个明白。在这么多问题里面,是否好像我的家庭没有问题?我们并没有甚么争执或打架,可是我们也没有相互的慰问和沟通。这其实才是我生命最大的问题所在!
身心疲累
每一次我女儿跟我说悄悄话,我都心不在焉,匆匆忙忙、敷衍了事。每个晚上我都要吃安眠药才能入睡。渐渐地,我和家人的感情开始有了距离!可是我什么也做不到!我唯一可以给他们的爱,就是努力工作,提供给他们生活上的需要。虽然我知道这是不对的,但是我不知道还有甚么其他的选择。
我向神祷告:神啊!我很累,我的心很累,我的身体很累。不过,我真的不知道怎样去改变一切。我不知道怎样跳出这个圈子。我不知道应该怎么做。真的是没有选择吗?求神改变我的生命,请祢给我安排,我会耐心等待!
全身变黄人
2014年6月24日,我生病了。我的小便是黄色,一个星期后,我胸前的皮肤也转黄色,我的眼睛和指甲都转成黄色,我的身体全都转成黄色。在<MEASE>医院做了很多测试,医生怀疑我得了胰脏癌!他们发现有个肿瘤在我的胰脏内,医生将我转到<MOFFIT>专科癌症治疗中心,接受治疗。当我得知自己得到癌症时,起初我一点都不害怕,我没有哭,没有大叫,也没有问为什么。我倒觉得很平静,完全交讬在神的手中。当天晚上我祷告,”神阿!若这是祢的旨意,我愿意顺服”。但是我的家人、教会的牧师、师母、全体弟兄姊妹得知后,就一直不停地迫切为我祷告,求神医治我。
肿瘤不见了
在<MOFFIT>专科中心,又再重新测试,每个星期都轮流在我左右手施针抽查。在这个时候,我开始有了无助、害怕和恐惧的感觉。8月6日这一天,我是不会忘记的!当护士又準备施针做<EUS>内窥镜超声波扫描测试时,我的眼泪不期然流下。当针落在我手上,我抬头向上望,见到一张很面善的脸,仿佛忘记却又是那么孰悉;那是我丈夫的脸。他看见我的痛苦和眼泪,就带着悲伤的眼神,用温柔和颤抖的声音问我:是否很痛?他将他的手轻轻的放在我施针的手上。在这一刻,奇蹟出现!我感觉像一朵花在沙漠里,得到自天空降下来的第一滴雨水!我冷冻的心开始溶化,震动。我感觉好像重生了一般,有一股新的生命注入。神医治了我的心,也医治了我的身体。衪释放我得自由,我的灵甦醒了。神再度在我生命中显神蹟,我的心里又一次被祂的爱触摸,我仿佛又回到甜蜜的恋爱中那般喜乐。
2014年10月4日,在<MOFFIT>癌症中心,再次测试我,奇妙的事情发生,医生证实我的肿瘤不见了! 癌症没有了!在神的世界里面,没有什么是不可能的!感谢神的大能恩典!感谢全能的天父,感谢祢垂听众人的祷告! 感谢祢施行医治与拯救! 感谢祢的慈爱,感谢袮的关怀,感谢袮的宽恕,感谢袮的不离不弃。愿世人都以袮的名为圣,阿门!
10/12/2014
“又说、你若留意听耶和华你 神的话、又行我眼中看为正的事、留心听我的诫命、守我一切的律例、我就不将所加与埃及人的疾病加在你身上、因为我耶和华是医治你的。”
(出埃及记15:26 )
“He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.”( Exodus 15:26)
两次濒临死亡,决志信主重生
by 陆道政 (12/16/2013)
书香家庭背景 成长一帆风顺
我出身在一个书香之家,父亲由一个祖传中医,靠自己的奋斗,成了上海乃至全国有名的眼科医师。我们兄弟姐妹七人大多从医,只有我和二姊学了物理。我从小到大虽经过抗战、内战和国内无数次各式各样的”运动”,包括臭名昭著的”文化大革命”,终究还是顺利的成长过来,无论工作,结婚,生子都是。1979年我有幸全家移民来美国,开始了全新的自由自在的幸福生活。在这三十多年的时间里,学习、上班、培养儿子陆文峰(Simon Lu)成人。儿子在完成学业后结婚有了自己的小家庭,不久我们也就当上了祖父母。在确定晚年生活有保障后,2001年起我和我内人在佛州提前享受退休,可说是万事一帆风顺。
儿子奉主引导 老父信主曲折
我儿文峰现在美国加州工作。十多年前他就在主的引导下开始研读圣经、笃信上帝后受洗,成为忠实的基督徒。近几年来作为同工更为团契等教会事务忙碌。在以前无数次的父子见面和电话交谈中,他都不断地和我讲圣经的故事,送给我圣经有关的书和视频,提醒我丰衣足食的生活都是上帝施予的,期望我能早日信主。我看了一些书,又在他及其他基督徒朋友的影响下也开始相信上帝的存在,但始终没能全部接受基督教的根本,不认为自己有罪,不需要任何人为我赎罪,也没有感恩的心情。
空中突发急病 机场休克遇救
2013年9月初,我和往年一样在秋季只身去中国探亲。飞机在上海降落前半小时我发现自己大便出血,下机后又便血一次,再走几步就在机场入境处休克。醒来后机场的医生说我血压只有60/40,十分危险。机场医务室因没条件医治,立刻将我转送至市区某大医院急诊室,初步诊断是肠胃道出血,在那里输液和输血后暂时止了血。在急诊室过了一天半没再出血,我以为没事了,在没查出确切病因的情况下就离开医院,似乎生活一切就此又都恢复正常。可我万万没想到这只是一个个生死攸关”噩梦”的前奏!
瞬间经历死亡 灵魂离开肉身
回到上海住处过了平静的一天后,半夜又惊见便血,在淩晨三时由救护车送往医院。到达急诊室出现更严重的大出血,在上洗手间时突然休克倒在地上,心跳和血压都测不出。医生和护士急忙全力进行抢救,替我输液,输血,做体外心脏按摩。这时一个奇妙的事情发生:我从全无感觉晕到在地,变成有意识、有思想的灵魂,我感到我的灵魂离开了自己原来的肉身,我轻漂漂地走在一个白色光亮的大道,在两边白色墙上看到一些画的浅绿色美丽的树木和一些人名。我发问是否我已死去,我没看到人,但却能听到一个肯定的回答,这让我感到十分沮丧。我说我还没有和任何人交代,我怎么就死了呢?!我不放心我的亲人和家里的事情。我听到的回答是”你不要管这些事,以后你也管不了这些事。” 当时我还是心想着我应做而未做的事,但一切都来不及了。我更不知道以后要面对的是怎样的”生活”,感到十分遗憾,后悔,无奈和无能为力。这时奇迹又发生,我恢复知觉又回到人间,张开眼看见自己躺在地上,医生和护士围着我,问我的名字和一些简单问题。这是我人生第一次濒临死亡的过程,使我亲自领受到死后灵魂的存在,和灵魂会走向某种未知的永恒世界。
死神紧紧跟随 决志祷告安心
人是救话了,但没能检查出出血的原因。就这样,反反复复便血,我的脸色越来越苍白,身体越来越虚弱,血色素已经跌至4克左右,没多少时间就会有生命的危险。如果再用止血药来治疗,显然已经控制不住,而单靠输血也只能暂缓危机,解决不了根本问题,这可怎么办?医生们忧心忡忡,没有好的方法。虽然这时我儿文峰已专程从美国飞达上海来守护我,但我还是心慌意乱。我这时深深感到自己(人类)的渺小,多至几天少至几分钟,我都可由生变死,我的生死自己无法控制,一切是由命运,或说由一个主宰一切的神所操纵。文峰见我情绪有时烦躁,有时低落,就劝我决志信主,求主保佑,并说他在加州的罗兰岗基督徒礼拜堂也在为我祷告。其实在经过灵魂出壳的经历再回人间后,我痛定思痛,深感如有机会活下去,一定要做那些肉身死了以后不会后悔或遗憾的事。现在我已知道人死后有灵魂与”天国”的存在,这就有不同的”生活方式”了:是到天堂过幸福生活,还是受审后下地狱?在这情况下我做了人生的重大决择,我和文峰就一起做了决志祷告。在祷告时表白我一定信主,靠主耶稣替我赎罪,以后就能重生与主同在。决志祷告后,我就感到神在保佑我,也就安心,面对死亡也不害怕了。”耶和华是我的牧者,我必不致缺乏。”(诗篇二十三1)
频烦检查无效 医生临危上阵
医生们实在想不出有效方法确认出血点,只能多次反复地做肠镜,胃镜和血管造影检查。由于我血压过低,上麻醉有危险,我就在忍受剧痛无麻醉的情况下做这些检查。还好在第二次血管造影检查中终于找到了出血点,但这只是上一级血管的平面位置,无法由此确切决定是那一段肠子在出血。这时候唯一可行的就是剖腹探查,切除出血病灶。但血色素这么低的病人麻醉风险极大,这又是一个特別棘手的问题。幸好手术医生和麻醉师都能抱着救死扶伤的博爱精神,勇于接受风险和挑战,同意进行手术,我儿也簽字。在生死未卜的情况下,我於是经历了第二次的濒临死亡。”我虽然行过死荫的幽谷、也不怕遭害。因为你与我同在。你的杖、你的竿、都安慰我。” (诗篇二十三4)
棘手剖腹探查 手术顺利结束
很快,我被接进手术室,此刻,我已毫无血色,大汗淋漓,反应迟缓。测量生命体征,发现我的血压已经因为体内失血明显下跌,而心率却因为失血而迅速加快。麻醉师迅速打开静脉穿刺包,在我颈部消毒、铺巾、穿刺,在我的右颈内静脉置入深静脉导管,开放好生命通路,让红细胞和胶体液快速进入体内,支撑生命体征。接着就开始麻醉诱导,我随即就进入全麻状态了,手术医生立刻给我腹部消毒、铺巾,打开我的腹腔。然而,随着时间的流逝,虽然我的出血大致方位在血管造影检查时已明确,但确切的出血病灶却始终找不到。这让手术医生着急,也让麻醉医生担忧,前者急的是怎么还没找到出血病灶,如何尽快找到?后者忧的是找不到出血病灶就止不住出血,那如何支撑住我的生命体征?在这焦虑的时刻,剖腹探查继续进行,他们一边仔细检查每一个肠段,不放过每一处可疑的出血病灶,一边扩大探查范围,继续寻找可能有的合并症。这时候,手术室里的气氛是相当紧张的,因为找不到我的出血病灶就不能从根本上解除危险。麻醉医生开始不断加快输血输液来保证血液动力学平衡,给手术医生创造更多时间来探查出血病灶。经过反复探查,最终确认是右半结肠出血,诊断思路一明确,手术方案当即确定,切除出血肠段。果然,我的血压渐渐趋于稳定,手术顺利结束。经过在重危病房护理近二周后,我终于脱离险境,渐渐恢复体力。
后来和医生们谈起手术经过,他们都说是我命大,运气好,换个別人可能死好几次了。文峰告诉我这是由于我主的保佑,上帝在我第一次濒临死亡时已把我送回人间,这次衪还是创造奇迹,保守我平安渡过多重非凡的难关,希望我在人间服事神。真的,这第二次濒临死亡的经历,使我深深感受到万能的主的恩典和旨意。”我一生一世必有恩惠慈爱随着我。我且要住在耶和华的殿中、直到永远。”(诗篇二十三6)
反思人生意义 接受洗礼重生
我小时候就很听父母的话,做一个乖孩子,好学生。青年时努力学习和工作,争取”进步”,为了在”社会主义”,未来在”共产主义”社会中能做个有贡献的人。但经过”文化大革命”后我对中国大陆的现状和前景完全绝望,一心向往国外。后来终于有机会来到这个自由而充满生机的美国,可是我的人生目的就是集中在家庭,上班工作,和做股票赚钱。退休后虽然也做一些公益工作,如在中国内地贫困地区开办希望小学。但总的来说,我失去了生活的目的和动力,似乎过着一种无所事事的养老生活。经过这次生死过程,我信奉主耶稣基督了,决心让主来主宰我的余生,决不辜负主的恩典和愿望。为此,在回美后就和附近的华人教会联系,开始主日礼拜。教会陈家厚牧师和多位基督徒弟兄姊妹来看望我,陈牧师看到我生命转变,信仰确定,就多次为我上慕道的课程,我也终于受洗成为一个基督徒。在神的光辉照耀下,由于人生信仰和目标明确,今后我一定会积极事奉神,认耶稣基督为我的救世主和生命的主,怀着感恩的心,把人生和生命的主权都交给衪,多做敬神益世的事,享有永生的盼望!
12/16/2013
“因我活着就是基督、我死了就有益处。”(腓利比书 1:21) “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)
Link to 陆道政弟兄纪念專輯
Learning to Let Go and Let God
By Christine Ho (2015.03.13)
Up until last year, the mentality of “giving everything to God” was easy for me. Nothing much ever happened that didn’t go according to plan – I thought that everything that had happened in my life coincided with what I wanted and ultimately, with what God had planned for my life.
I switched my major to dietetics right before my senior year of college so I had to stay an extra semester to finish my degree. This meant that my future plans would all be postponed and with dietetics, the process would be even more stressful now that I had pushed back my graduation date. Upon graduating with a bachelor in dietetics, you are not guaranteed to become a registered dietitian. There is an extremely stressful process that you need to go through before you are able to sit for and take the registration exam and become licensed to practice as a dietitian. It requires that you go through an extensive application and matching process to an internship, which is essentially rotations of supervised practice similar to that of medical residency. The matching process is exactly the same as that of residency – after you send in your applications to your set number of schools/programs, you must rank the schools on a separate website. After ranking them, you will or will not be invited for interviews. The schools/programs must then also rank you so that you can be matched to their program. Currently, the national average match rate for dietetics is 50%, which means that half of those who graduate with a bachelor in dietetics will not be able to do their rotations and will ultimately not become registered dietitians.
From Disappointment to Great Joy
I had gone through my list multiple times, carefully ranking which programs I wanted to apply to. I applied all over the country, with the University of Houston being the closest program in distance to Florida. After I sent in my applications in September, I had to wait 2 months for match day to roll around. During these two months, I waited and waited, desperate to hear back for an interview invitation from the 4 programs I had applied to. I prayed earnestly for these interviews, but was disappointed to hear back from none. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if I didn’t get matched at all because I switched my major specifically with this one goal in mind, to become a registered dietitian. A bachelor in dietetics is not of much use – you need to go through the internship to take the registration exam to become a registered dietitian. This, alone, caused much stress for me and although I depended on the Lord for comfort to get me through these times of distress, I grew even more doubtful of my own abilities and my future. When match day came around and I checked the computer only to find out that I didn’t get matched, I was crushed. I cried the entire day, and was extremely angry at myself and at God. I questioned God many times, asking Him why he didn’t provide what I wanted, what I thought was best for me. Why didn’t God give me this one thing? Didn’t he want me to become a registered dietitian? Why would He close this door, to disappoint me? It was extremely hard to go to class the next day and face my classmates. They would all know that I didn’t get matched. I felt like a huge failure. It was hard to be confident in anything after I had failed at achieving this one thing that I wanted so badly.
However, amidst all of my disappointment and sorrows during this time, God had his plans for me and was indeed looking out for me. After match day in November, there is a second round of matching that occurs. There usually aren’t too many programs participating in second round matching because most programs fill up after first round matching. This time around, there was only one program that was participating – Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama. This was a new program and it was their first time participating in the dietetic internship matching. I was slightly discouraged because Alabama was not somewhere that I had seen myself living – I didn’t consider Alabama at all when I was looking at programs to begin with. And the fact that there was only one program to choose from was very disappointing because I didn’t have much of a choice if I wanted to participate in second round matching. I either had to apply now to Samford or wait a year to apply during the next cycle of matching. I begrudgingly started to prepare my materials and interview for Samford, knowing that this was my last opportunity to get matched. I felt as if I had no choice but to apply. There was really nothing that stood out to me about this school but as I began to gather more information for my interview and send my application in, I found out that this school is actually a Christian university. Their curriculum for the dietetic internship is founded on Christian principles and taught with a Christian mindset – it is rooted deeply in these values that I also share.
This was very comforting to me and I was extremely blessed by this, because the other programs that I had applied to during first round matching were not at Christian universities. This wasn’t even a priority for me when I was choosing programs, being that there aren’t many Christian universities with dietetic internships in the United States.
In God’s Perfect Timing
To make a long story short, I found out at the end of November that I did get matched to Samford University after second round matching. I was chosen to be a part of their intern class and for this, I can only thank the Lord. I have experienced His love and faithfulness like never before and realized how true His words are: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
It was truly a miracle and all in His perfect timing. I don’t know if I can put into words how miraculous it really was. First off, I wasn’t even planning on graduating in December. I was supposed to graduate in May of 2014. If I had graduated in May with the rest of my class, I would have applied to dietetic internships in the earlier matching cycle in February rather than in November. I would not have had the opportunity to even apply to Samford University because their program was brand new and they only participated in the November matching cycle. Secondly, because Samford’s program didn’t fill up completely after the first round of matching, they were able to accept more applications during the second round of matching. It is very rare that programs do not fill up because there are double the amount of applicants as there are spots in these dietetic internships all across the United States. Additionally, Alabama is only one state away from Florida – out of all the programs I had applied to, Samford was the closest to home. Yes, it would be a long drive but it’s close enough to home that driving would be an option. Lastly, it’s founded on Christian principles – the entire curriculum for my program was crafted with the idea of producing registered dietitians who are grounded in their faith and also in their knowledge of nutrition. Every year, the professors get together in the chapel and receive cards with the names of all of the incoming students. They then pray for their particular student on their card, praying that they would be blessed by the university and that the university would be able to provide guidance and fellowship during their time at Samford.
I had cried so many tears after that first round of matching, not knowing that God had this whole other plan in mind – a much better plan than I could have ever dreamed of for myself. Things didn’t go according to my plan. I thought Houston would be a much better fit for me and would have a better job market for my profession. I thought that I’d fit in more with the culture in Houston and would be much happier there. But what did I know?? How could I possibly know what was best for me at that time? “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.(Isaiah 55:8-9).
God Works All Things for Our Good
God never wants to see His children sad. His plans aren’t meant to hurt you. Now looking back on it, I should have never doubted the Lord – how can I possibly understand and know God’s great plan for my life when I have absolutely no clue what the future holds? God is the only one who knows what your future entails and he has created something amazing for each and every one of us. We just don’t know exactly what it is! And while you may think you have the perfect life planned out, you really don’t know a thing about your future. God wants the best for you and opens and closes doors for you, to align with his perfect plan for your life. Yes, they may not be doors that you want to close, but God has His purpose in doing so. I’ve learned to trust in the Lord with my WHOLE life. I’ve learned to never doubt God, to always lean on Him even when you have absolutely no clue what is happening in your life or why certain things happen to you, just as Proverbs says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Yes, I am nowhere near Houston, my dream location. Yes, I’m in Birmingham, Alabama, the last place I had ever thought I’d be living in. But I know that I am supposed to be here because this is where God has brought me. I depended on the Lord to bring me to where I am now, and I will continue to depend on Him and give him my whole life as I go through many long days of rotations in a completely new city. It has been a little over two months since I’ve moved here and He has blessed me with new friends and wonderful professors and program directors. I’ve also been able to connect with a friend of a friend, who just moved to Birmingham one week ago. She is also a believer and together, we have been attending church and are looking for a small group that we can plug into. I can’t wait to see what other blessings God has in store for me!
3/13/2015
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
“你要专心仰赖耶和华、不可倚靠自己的聪明.在你一切所行的事上、都要认定他、他必指引你的路。”(箴言3:5-6)